Today I have been thinking about good friends, friends I have had for years and years. My family and neighbors, and thinking how life sure gets in the way of these relationships sometimes. People are busy, busy with their own lives and their own families and schedules and kids. How do we ever keep up on old friendships, maintain relationships with family members and make new friends?
One of my very best friends in the world, I have completely lost touch with. We worked together for 7 years had 3 babies together, gave each other baby showers and knew every detail of each others day. How did this happen? We vowed when we stopped working together that no matter what we would never lose touch. I would go a couple months calling then texting no answer, then getting pissed. Eventually finding out she had been going through Hell. How could I not have known? We just lost touch. She and I have since talked and really now I know it was just to painful to tell someone she talked to every 6 months or so she was getting divorced. Ugh, and still I feel bad for her and I feel bad for me that we could not go through that supporting each other.
So many of my old friendships seem to be falling away due to life and the business of it. I had a friend tell me the other day " No one is busier than me". I actually think that is the problem. We all feel like no one understands our life, our demands our struggles. I will tell a friend or family member, I have such a busy day, needing some concern or even just interest maybe a little validation and most of the time I get something like "try being me". I have for some reason had a hard time swallowing this lately.
My new found Yogic ways have lead me to ask the question, am I that disinterested in everyone else's life? Do I immediately turn the conversation back to "me". When I am at a family dinner do I listen or just talk. When someone announces something really cool am I genuinely happy for them?
Being a wife and Mom is very time consuming and of coarse this is were all our precious time should be spent. However finding a way to maintain good friendships with old friend who are very important too in something I am working on...
I wish I was better at getting together with friends, sisters, family, that I don't see every day. I know I can do better at reaching out to all the important people I feel so disconnected from. Yoga is about balance and I feel so out of balance right now. My goal is to reconnect with all the people I feel like our relationships are slipping away. I talked to my sweet husband about how I have been feeling and he had some great advice for me. Don't beat yourself up, reach out to those you feel disconnected from and don't waist time on those who "no one is busier than me friends"... I have a feeling we all fall into this category at times, but I am finding it so unappealing. The Enough about you lets talk about me's... I need spring!!! Tennis, Outdoors, warmth....
5 comments:
this is my favorite one of your posts. I feel the same way. Friendships seem to be the first thing that we 'let go' when we are overwhelmed. And yet it is the thing I need the most.
I feel the same way! I loved your post and your friends comment. I find even in my stage of life friendships that are lost and even with my efforts the relationships just don't stay. I appreciate your inspiration to not stress about others and their busy life, but try and listen and reconnect with those who are not "too busy" :)
You're adorable and the thing that I always love about you for our 42 years that we have known and loved each other is that no matter how long we haven't seen or talked to each other, we still know that each of us are our favorite cousins! Right???
I love ya Tina. Even though we don't see each other as much as we would like to, I know that you care. It's good to know that no matter what, we can and will be friends and can confide in and talk with one another. We don't just need friends to be in our everyday business. We just need friends that care and love us no matter what, and will be there when we need them.
Yoga is about balance, but reality is about being out of balance. We have to have the stress and conflict or we would never grow up!! (And I'm talking strictly about myself). You are one of the best friends a person could have Tina, it's one of your greatest talents!! Don't beat yourself up, I agree with Brett.
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